Patton, the Punk and the Jewel Heist

I had one of those awe-inspiring ah-hah synchronistic moments yesterday…on Veterans Day, perfectly enough!

There was a tribute story about General George Patton, the WW2 Titan of Testosterone Tank Commander who would have rolled his tanks straight into Moscow…if it were up to him. I think it may have been on the CBS Sunday Morning. The ah-hah moment came in the following commercial. You’ve all seen it. The Android commercial where the GQ hunk is laying in bed in some adobe roofless desert dwelling where he gets up and uses some video game on his android to blast through the wall! It was quite the jolt of reality to juxtapose Patton’s real man image directly onto the modern day fake man

Thank you God for opening my eyes to this reality on this day of all days!  Do you know how you can tell real man from fake man? We used to call them the family jewels. Every one of us guys was born with a pair…some of us still have ‘em! 🙂

But modern man…fake man does not! Somewhere between the golden age of men and their fools-gold modern day counterparts, the jewels have been lifted! Look down if you don’t believe me…see? They’re GONE! Just like YOUR COUNTRY that you surrendered without a fight!

As with most things in life, stuff becomes a little clearer in the rear view mirror. They stole ‘em from you while your mind was in school and plugged into the cable feed! Here’s an experiment you can conduct in the privacy of your own home to prove my point (providing you still have a set). I call it the Expand/Contract Test. You simply sit (naked from the waste down) on a flat surface with a ruler drawn across it so that the size of your jewels come to rest on the ruler itself. Now as your sitting there with the TV off, note the size of your jewels from left to right. We’re ready for Part 1 of the Test:

Golden Age– Watch any 10 minutes of the movie Patton with George C. Scott. Now take a measurement to find that the jewels have expanded!

Modern Age– Watch any 10 minutes of Friends, King of Queens, Daily Show or Steven Colbert to find that the jewels have contracted! They’re like raisins!! You look like you just got out of a swimming pool…a very cold swimming pool. Kind of like George in that famous Seinfeld episode…EXACTLY!

But alas, we have become a nation of Fake Men…who can sit in witness to a Fake Commander in Chief’s stunning betrayal of Real Men unreported by a Fake Media…as the Fake Secretary of State is mysteriously unavailable to testify, followed by the very timely fall of the CIA Director…and do nothing!

They do grow back you know…


Chip Murray: Wide Awake

About Chip Murray

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1 Response to Patton, the Punk and the Jewel Heist

  1. Pingback: And…We’re Back! | The Differences of US….. Move US to Think

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